a big beautiful mess

Monthly archives for May, 2012

“No one speaks English and everything’s broken.”

“No one speaks English and everything’s broken.”

Love, true love, is more enduring than a summer fling. Love demands that you confront all the good and bad of the one you love and accept the whole for what it is. Love takes time and commitment and forgiveness. After living in Russia for almost eight months, I can say that I love this […]

The End of an Era

The End of an Era

Warning: This post contains excessive angst and self-indulgent, privileged musings. Łukasz left this morning. The emotional buildup to this point on my part has been spectacular. A combination of anxiety about my presentation Saturday on American multiculturalism at the library, an inability to sleep due to the encroaching white nights, and almost absurdist self-reflection, it […]

Victory

Victory

I want to write a good and thoughtful post about my last-minute trip to Moscow this week for Victory Day, and about the huge gaping hole in American knowledge of World War II from the “eastern” perspective, and about how there were red carnations left at a bust of Stalin in the Museum of the […]

The Serenity of Anxiety

The Serenity of Anxiety

I leave for Moscow tomorrow. On a train. The only other time I’ve been on a train in Russia, my ticket was bought and my hand held by my study abroad program directors. Minor freak out about my debit card not working at the ATM averted when I got home and checked online, to realize […]

Like Clockwork

Like Clockwork

And then sometimes, everything works. Yesterday was a perfect set-up for a domino-effect spiral into a helpless pit of anxiety and failure, but somehow, miraculously, everything went off without a hitch! 7:45 am I woke up to do my Russian homework. 10:00 am My weekly tutoring session began. I usually walk to my tutor’s house, as it […]