But know what love is. Know that love is not joy. Love is not sex. Love is not patronizing. Love is not easy. Love is a choice.
Maybe sometimes you and the one you love have built something, cared for it, nurtured it, dusted off its smooth hard surfaces, opened its cupboards and discovered pain inside. It will not be easy to tear down this house you have built together. But because you love, you need to try to soothe the pain. And so you tear down the house, and this is also pain. And you build again.
Love everyone this way. Walk with them through the houses they have built. Open their cupboards and their closet doors, peak behind their long dusty curtains, discover the pain squirreled away, the pain elegantly disguised in the woodwork, and hand them a hammer.